Ten Rules for Life

Ten Rules for Life

The Girls Night Out Gang recently traveled to Kansas City to attend the O!You conference sponsored by the Oprah network. It was a wonderful weekend full of speakers, giveaways and laughter. Our first speaker of the day was Donna Brazile, a political strategist, professor, author, columnist and Democratic National committee's Vice Chair of Voter Registration and Participation. I'll have to admit up front that I had never heard of her before, not being overly politically active myself (okay, kind of not at all). However, the topic of her presentation is what caught my attention-”Work It”-tapping into your passion to control your career. Now, anything that has the word 'control' in it is just up my alley!

As she started to speak, I knew I was going to like this lady. A wry sense of humor, in control of herself and not going to take any crap from anybody! I whipped out my pen and started writing down phrases that resonated with me and where I am at in my life right now. Phrases such as: take inventory and prioritize; take the crud out and declutter; take stock of what you HAVE and what you've DONE; inventory your values and make a list of the things you love to do and DO them-stop waiting for time or permission; stop being everything to everybody; and, it is okay to say 'It's my turn'. Donna also had a list of 10 tips to work it and take control of your career.

After the weekend was over, I returned home unpacked my bags (sort of) and repacked them to leave again for two days for work meetings. There, our district manager shared with us the 10 rules for life that the CEO of our company lives by. I felt as if some force was trying to tell me something. So that got me saying to myself, “self”-what are our rules for life? So, I recently sat down with a pen and scratched out my thoughts.

1.Be true to your self: Once we stop being everything to everybody, we have to be true to who we really are. If you aren't happy, then noone around you is going to be happy. Reach deep and figure out what your dreams and desires are and go for them. Don't try quite so hard to be that person that everyone else wants you to be. Instead, be the person that you want you to be.
2.Learn and try new things: You aren't living if you aren't learning. There is not a soul on this earth that knows everything. Keep expanding your horizons. Keep asking questions. Make a list of things you want to learn to do or learn more about and check them off as you go. Think of the dinner conversations you could have with all of your new knowledge!
3.Gotta have Girlfriends: What more do I need to say. Women need the bond of friendship. We need to laugh, cry, shout, dance, share and support. I don't know what I would do without my closest girlfriends.
4.It is okay to say “NO”: It is not being mean, cruel, insensitive, selfish or wrong to say no. Like Donna says, we can't be everything to everybody. If we can't commit fully to the request, we are not doing ourselves or those making the request any favors. All we are doing is creating a whole new level of stress for ourselves if we don't want to or can't meet the obligation that we just agreed to.
5.Be Selfish: You must take time out for yourself. We have spent so many years raising children, doing what the boss wants us to do, taking care of employees, being the center of our families that we have forgotten that first we have to take care of ourselves. It is okay to be selfish and take time for yourself and your dreams and interests.
6.Address issues and problems: You can't fix it if you won't talk about it. As a manager, I tend to avoid conflict at all costs. However, in the last few months, I have forced myself to address issues sooner rather than later. I'm feeling better about it, issues are not reaching a boiling point and I feel that my staff appreciates it. I think I am learning to face things head on instead of letting them go. My stress level is less—not gone, mind you—but it is lower. I want to believe that this is one of the reasons for that.
7.Have Fun!: We only go around once. You should be here to LIVE life.
8.Give yourself permission to change: Everyone you know has a preconceived notion of who they think you are. Maybe you are that person, but maybe you have changed. I am not the same person I was at 20, 25, or 30 years of age. I am not the same person I was 3 years ago. Tell yourself that it is alright to break the mold you were made in. Experiences and knowledge are bound to change how we see the world. This is what is going to make you into the person that your are ultimately meant to be.
9.Pick your Battles: I used to say that 'revenge' was my middle name. Now, I will say that it is just my middle initial. After all, it is still really hard to get over the grudge factor. However, I am starting to choose my battles carefully. Is it worth the stress and worry to hold that particular grudge or can we just count it as a lesson learned and move on. (remember, number 2-learn new things!) Don't get me wrong, I haven't forgotten and you will notice that I did not use the word forgive. I don't know if I will ever reach that level of greatness. It is important to measure the level of stress and unhappiness that not moving on will bring to your life and then decide if you are truly ready to do battle to defend your position.
10.IF YOU STUMBLE, MAKE IT PART OF THE DANCE: This one is not my saying and I can't even tell you where it came from. It is, however, one of my favorite sayings and I felt that it summed up rules 1-9 fairly well. We all make mistakes. We all face obstacles. We all have doubts. If we don't make them part of our dance, then we are cutting out a part of our life. We are cutting out a part of who we are. We are cutting out a part of who we are to become.

So, there you have it. My ten rules of life at this point in time. Will they change over the years? Probably. Remember, I am learning new things and looking for new experiences. They are bound to change the rules a little as life goes on. What are your rules for life? Care to share, be sure to comment.

Have a Margalicious Day!
The Maven